Your Mistakes Don't Define You

This week, Jeff and I get to speak to a group of young parents about marriage, family, and raising kids from a spiritual perspective. The invitation, itself, made me chuckle. You see, I was not the poster child for this kind of model. I found ways to mess up each of these areas as I lived through them. There are many times, in my life, when I get to see God bring something full circle for no other reason than to let me bask in the glory of His transforming power. He demonstrates to me two amazing truths when He does this: 1) What He did on the cross changes everything. I can now live in the freedom I received from that moment rather than focusing on my shortcomings; 2) God is HUGE. I'm just not big enough to screw up His plans.

As a young wife and mother, I wanted my family to be perfect. Being a Christian, I figured I had a set of rules that would help. The 10 commandments was a good place to start. In fact, the Bible was filled with all kinds of rules I could use to govern my new little family. My heart was searching for ways to please God. I was tying my family up in knots and making a huge mess of our life. I was striving to be someone I didn't have the power to be and I was putting all those same expectations on my husband and children. It wasn't until years later that I realized the purpose of all those laws. They were to show me how impossible it is to be righteous on my own. I would always fall short. I needed to grasp what it meant to have a savior who had already done all that for me at the cross.

So last night I went to sleep wondering... What in the world am I going to share with this group? I woke up this morning seeing how God was redeeming all my former mistakes in the life He has now set before me. I constantly have dreams of raising children who aren't my own. I am now beginning to understand those dreams. I get a chance to show others that there are better, more joyful, ways to be a family.

Years ago, Jeff and I started a non-profit called M.O.R.E. Ministries, Inc. (http://www.moreministries.rocks). When we began learning about all Jesus did (and still does), we noticed that as soon as we learned something, there was always something more to learn just ahead. Life was no longer about rules, but instead became about opportunities to partner with Holy Spirit to see The Kingdom of Heaven touch Earth.

M.O.R.E. was designed to launch new ministries and raise up leaders to advance the kingdom culture Jesus refers to in most of his parables, "The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand". M.O.R.E. is an acronym which stands for several things:
   Moving Out Radically Encountered.
      Moving Out Relationally Encouraged.
         Moving Out Responsibly Equipped.
            Moving Out Richly Empowered.

It was in seeing who we are and what we do now that I realized that this is not only how you raise up leaders and change a culture, this is also how you build a healthy marriage, raise a family and prepare children to be adults. All people need to be given opportunities to be radically encountered by Jesus. He's going to be the one to awaken their true identity. Our entire family needs to be surrounded by those who are willing to foster healthy relationships. Feeling loved and encouraged keeps us moving forward and helps us to avoid becoming critical and judgmental. As parents, we acquire tools we can  share with our children. We need to find creative ways to partner with our spouses so we can equip our young apprentices to use these tools. And finally, we need to realize that our home (and church) should be a huge "play-pen". We need safe places to try out all we have learned. We need places we can fall down and be lifted back up to try again. This is how we become confident, joyful and are finally ready to be... sent out.

Jeff and I have an apostolic calling on our lives. We now get to be fathers and mothers to many. We have also been presented with lots of fun opportunities for healing with our own children and marriage. Each time we learn something new, God continues to show us "There's Got To Be M.O.R.E."!

Relax! Be Who You Are.

You know those days when everything hard catches up with you?  Waves of inadequacy can crash in from all sides. Life looks really big and we question whether or not we have what it takes to compete, survive, or ever make a difference. This week, I had a one of those days.

Anytime a new opportunity comes my way, I seem to fall into a pattern. First, I get excited. Next, I step back and take a look at the big picture. Finally, I panic! It is this unhealthy "rut" that often prevents me from being able to risk being a part of something new. I freeze up, afraid to join the adventure. Fear becomes my partner and I fold under the lying accusations of the enemy. "You can't do this!" "You are nothing." "You will embarrass yourself and never be able to face people again." The list goes on and on...

This morning I was considering my children, all of which are brave and wildly adventuresome. I was remembering how one of them was able to influence hundreds of people without even saying a word. Our daughter, Tiffany, had a relationship with God that was different. She was completely disabled physically and mentally, but she carried the love of Jesus and the power of Holy Spirit everywhere she went. Wherever she was, lives were effected and changed. We never really understood how or why this happened so easily with her, but we watched it transpire time and time again. She has since passed away, so I decided to go back and watched her memorial service to remember how God can use us, just as we are, to accomplish great things (http://ladybugtiff.com). There were many testimonies being shared, but one story really stood out to me.

Tiffany was in the hospital room unconscious and presumably dying. A friend, who had never met her, asked to go into her room alone and spend some time with her. He was angry at God. Two of his children had died in a terrible plane accident years before. All he had left from that incident was his pain. This is what he carried into that tiny, machine filled room to see our child slipping away as well. The pain was more than he could bare.

We don't really know what happened in that room. I'm not sure our friend could clearly articulate the event either, but he shared what he could of the story at her memorial twelve years later (Tiffany did not die that day). Because Tiffany knew how to host the presence of God, His spirit was able to transform people around her, even when she was unconscious. She was a willing vessel. His power didn't depend on her ability. Jesus encountered people in her midst even as her mind and body lay disengaged, safe within his arms. Our friend went into that room angry and came out a new creation. His life would never be the same after that day.

This is the kind of life that inspires me. One that wasn't consumed by striving. Tiffany never worked at being Tiffany. She just was. God used her right where she was being just who she was. I need to grasp that kind of lifestyle. I need to relax and just be available. Responsibility is responding to His ability. How easy is that?!?