"Come And Know Me Better, Man"

Recently, I've been thinking about all the "first impressions" we get when we meet people. A lot of our impressions come even before we've actually met the person in front of us.

If someone looked at me, they would see a few outward markings that may give them some wrong impressions. Since most everything I do comes with a lot of thought and intention (even being spontaneous is intentional for me, lol), I thought I'd take a moment to explain a few things you may have been wondering about my outward appearance.

First of all, I have a nose piercing. Many people have a hard time reconciling nose ring with pastor, but here is where you'll see it proudly on display. My nose ring is a badge of honor. It represents the battle I overcame of fear and complacency. I had reached a certain age and stage in my life where I was handling everything fairly easily. I had actually become board with my life, but fear of the unknown kept me from venturing out very far. I was not a risk taker. I liked adventure, but only ones I chose myself. One day, my daughter said she was getting her nose pierced and asked me if I wanted to do the same. "No Way!" I had no desire to cause myself intentional pain like that. I watched her go through the process and went to bed that night having to confront all the fears that were suddenly exposed through the events of the day. I was afraid of everything! I was afraid of getting stuck, afraid of moving forward. I was afraid for my daughter as she moved in adventure and afraid for my other two kids who did not. I was afraid of everything I knew was coming and of all the unknown events ahead. After hours of categorizing all my fears, I realized that I wanted to be rid of them once and for all. I broke the partnership I had nurtured with fear in the wee morning light. The next day got my nose pierced.

I have two tattoos. The first one will forever be a strangely fond memory and learning curve in my life.  In 1999, my then new daughter-in-law took me for a walk in Destine, FL, where my son was stationed in the Air Force. She brought me into a tattoo parlor and showed me all the pictures she would like to have inked into her body. She asked me if I would ever get a tattoo. I religiously replied, "My husband would never allow it."  Deep inside, I thought it might be fun, but really had never given it much thought. When we arrived home, she asked my husband if I could get a tattoo. Much to my surprise (and a bit of horror), he said, "She can do whatever she wants." That moment marked something huge in our marital partnership. My husband saw me as he saw himself and trusted me to make my own decisions. I decided to bond with my daughter-in-law and accept her challenge. I got a small rose on my ankle (one of the most painful places to get a tattoo, by the way). Our kids eventually divorced, but she will always be someone I chat with God about, even now, because I have that memory on my body.

My 2nd tattoo looks a little strange when you first notice it. It's on my forearm and people have often thought it was of an alien. It's actually a ladybug in a hero costume. I had a daughter who inspired me more than anyone ever has. She lived 30 years with a disease that was scheduled to take her out before she ever reached her teens. She taught me what trust looked like and mentored me to be able to minister everywhere without ever using any words. She was my hero, but we called her "Ladybug". When she passed away, I drew her caricature and put it in a place where I would always remember the things she instilled in me.

There are lots of other things people probably notice about me before they ever get to know the person I am inside. These are the kinds of things that draw me to others too. I want to know the stories behind the things they wear on their sleeves. It may not be as noticeable as tattoos or piercings. It may be simply their hair styles, their clothing or their figures. I want to find out their stories, their battles, their victories. I want to be inspired and learn from all they've experienced. I want to connect and feel like this world isn't just a giant busy place. I want to know and be known. Don't we all?

What Is Faith?

It's so interesting to actually go back to the Bible and read what it says rather than just go by what I've heard taught my whole life. When I do this, I notice treasures I hadn't before. This is revelation. It doesn't change the Bible, it brings it to life. It's no longer a story, but now becomes a life-style. Let me share with you an example.

I was reading in Matthew. If you're wanting to go deeper into a story, read everything around it too so that you get a context for the event. In Matt 8:22-26, there's a story of Jesus and his disciples facing a storm. I went back and read from the beginning of the chapter to get an idea what they were doing out there.

Jesus had been ministering to the people in a particular town. His disciples (students) were with him. One person said to Jesus, "If you choose, you can make me clean (heal him from leprosy)." Jesus said, "I do choose." On a side note... if God (Jesus and Holy Spirit) is the same yesterday, today and forever, then why do we still question whether it's His will to heal? He just said so in this chapter.

Next, Jesus runs into a centurion (an officer in the Roman army). The centurion tells Jesus that his servant is lying home, paralyzed. Jesus says He will come cure him and the officer responds by saying, "Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof; but only speak the word, and my servant will be healed." Jesus comments on this man's amazing faith. In fact, Jesus said He had not seen such faith yet in all of Israel. Jesus spoke and the servant was healed, according to this man's faith.

When Jesus is ready to leave that place and go to another, he gathers up His students and gets in a boat. During the trip, a great storm arises and the disciples become fearful. They wake Jesus up screaming, "Lord, save us! We are perishing!" Jesus calms the storm and comments on their lack of faith. This is where the digging begins...

The man with leprosy wanted to know what Jesus' will was for him. Jesus showed him (Since everyone is Jesus' favorite, he'll do the same for anyone). The centurion knew Jesus' authority, but had not yet experienced his will. Jesus notes the powerful faith and offers to heal the servant. These two men were having first experiences (encounters) with Jesus. They didn't have a grid to build on, but they believed He was who He said He was.

Back in the boat, we have the disciples, students of Jesus (his teachings, his ways, his will...). He tells them that He wants to go to the other side of the the body of water. He shares with them His immediate will. They just watched him manifest His will all over the land. They had never known a time that Jesus didn't get what He wanted, what He willed, yet they woke him up, afraid this might be the first time it would happen.

Fear is not of God. Fear has no power except that which we give it (because we have been given authority, Luke 10:9, we can transfer that authority to fear). The disciples side with fear and begin to doubt God's will... getting over to the other side. They wake Jesus up and spew their fear all over Him. This is how we often pray. We forget God's will, we forget His command to do what He has taught us to do now that He resides in us through Holy Spirit (Matt 10:8... Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons).  We then partner with fear and run to Jesus with accusations that He's going to just let us die.  Now do you understand His reply to the disciples, His students? "Why are you afraid, oh you of little faith?"  He wanted them to learn, to do what He was doing. They were about to become apostles (culture changers). He needed them to know their authority, through Him, and get used to using what He was giving them. How could they do all they needed to later, with Holy Spirit inside of them, if they couldn't learn to do it now with Jesus right there with them?

Don't fret! As my friend, Allison Bown, noted on my Facebook page, "Thank God He has compassion and patience for when we miss our opportunities... and doesn't define us forever by them." The disciples were learning because they would be "doing". Where are we on this spectrum? Are we still learning? Are we doing? Maybe we're sometimes learning and sometimes doing. Both require staying in Him and He in us. Both require lining up with everything He has already taught us and demonstrated. Both require intimacy and both can result in a fun adventurous life. Now go! Have fun!!!

Roots

Imagine having made a terrible decision.
   Most of us have at least one that comes quickly to mind.
Now imagine having to live with the consequences that go with it.
   Some of us may have skirted past this part unscathed.
Finally, imagine having to face all that alone.
   There are people, in this world, who feel abandoned in their biggest time of need.
These are the people who capture my attention and tug on my heart.

In my new hometown, there are some young women who fall into this category. They have found themselves pregnant and homeless. The decisions or circumstances leading up to their unique situations are now behind them. They are dealing with all kinds of fears and worries and have no idea of the monumental task ahead of them. Yet, they move forward in hopes of seeing a light at the end of their tunnel.

I have the opportunity to minister in a home for these girls. I want to be able to look closely at these girls and their situations. I will be watching the tell-tale signs these young women wear on their sleeves... Do they appear tough or scared?  Are they dressing in a fashion to gain acceptance?  Do they display trust issues with their attitudes? There are so many factors the world has and will continue to judged them by. I will not be looking for more fuel to throw on their fires, I'm looking for roots. If I can follow the action they display, back far enough, I just might find a root. A place where everything began, where everything connects. The very spot that explains the fruit bursting out all over.  To tell these girls to "Stop doing that" or "Quit acting like that" does little to help them in the long run. Following directions may temporarily look like a cure, but it would be like pruning back poison oak in hopes that it will just eventually just shrivel up and disappear. To get rid of a crippling behavior, you must eradicate the source. This can only be done through trust, free will and love. There's where the story, I want them to hear, begins.

If I choose to join with them in their journey, my mission will be to introduce these girls to the One who is a good father, a comforting mother and gentle friend.  They may have no grid in their past for any of these kinds of scenarios, but I do.  I can share what I know, through the Bible and my own personal experience, and introduce them to someone who will never leave or condemn them.  They will have an opportunity to develop their own relationship with God rather than have to live "grandfathered in" through someone else's interpretation of Him.  They will learn that when God "judges", it is something He does out of love and is directed toward "sin", not toward them.  Just as a doctor judges cancer and works quickly to kill "it", not his patient. They will learn that their sin is no worse than that of Adam's and that God judged it once and for ALL in the form of Jesus on the cross. They will learn that Holy Spirit is here so that we can have Him in us just as we are in Him. They will learn that they can have not only a ticket to heaven, but that it can begin right here on Earth. They can learn to do all Jesus did... now. They will  now have someone who loves them and someone they can trust... forever!

     Only then will it be safe enough to go after roots.

Hope In The Midst Of Pain

A couple of days ago I received three notifications of children who died from MPS (Mucopolysaccaridoses). This was a disease my daughter survived 30 years with. Every death makes me sad, but that's not what this article is about.

Mothers of special needs kids are a breed apart. Fathers who provide relief to those mothers, while holding down full-time jobs, are heroes. Siblings who lose out on attention and are robbed of a normal childhood are stronger than most, but this isn't what this article is about either.

This article is about hope. What do you do when you've lost the most precious thing in your life or have had the rug pulled out from under you. Most people know this feeling to one degree or another. Everyone has faced something scary or sad that seemed bigger than yourself. How do you continue to breathe when you feel like you've been punched in the stomach or the wind has left your sails? How do you motivate yourself to move on? You have to learn how to find hope.

My husband and I have been declared "hope dealers". Hope is that tiny little seed that hides under huge piles of dirt, thrives with a bit of manure and is often watered with tears. It's finding the ability to look beyond the current circumstance. Holding a magnifying glass up to the small pieces of "good" that were in the midst of the tragedy. Not everyone can do this, but anyone can learn how.

A good way to start is with something that isn't so catastrophic.  Once you've mastered the ability, you can apply it to anything. It all begins with a person. One who will stay with you, cry with you, hold you, and keep your confidence. For me, this is Jesus. The rest has to do with focus and perspective.

I usually begin my journey to hope with a good cry and sometimes yelling. This not only allows me the chance to get everything off my chest and out in the open, but it also wears me out. At those times, I need to be able to get out of myself and my own feelings. I need to get rid of all that hurt and anger. If I hold back, the process takes longer. Jesus is pretty good about letting me take my time during this part. If I stop, he doesn't panic. He just waits for me to come back to the table and begin again. When everything has been poured out and I'm spent and ragged, His spirit comforts me and then the process of hope can begin.

Having a friend that can see beyond the moment is monumental. Jesus is good about pulling up the all the things I've either overlooked or forgotten while in my pain. He holds those moments tenderly in his hand, dusting off everything I've thrown over it, and holds them up to His radiant light, allowing me to see everything from His perspective... beautiful.

This may seem like a Pollyanna-ish dream, but I guarantee it works. Taking those little pieces of beauty that heaven has dusted off for you to look at is much better than wallowing in the hurt and pain of the boulder that just rolled over you. If you can look at the good long enough, you can change the way you see things... your perspective (this even works with people you're having a hard time with). A changed perspective cultivates a changed attitude. When your attitude changes, so does your direction. Now. instead of circling the drain, you're heading up and out. The sky's the limit, so to speak.

So that's it. That's how to find and encompass hope. Give it a try. Once you get good at it, you can help others to do the same. At that moment, you too have become a "hope dealer".