I am beginning to consider that these early morning "wake up" calls may be from heaven. Often times they come as answers to a question I've been asking. Sometimes they are directional and I can determine which part of a fork in the road I should pursue. Last night, I felt like a porthole to heaven had been opened.
I woke with a thought. What if this is that moment when every possible healing I'd been going after was available. In my sleepy state, it felt like an advertisement... "For one moment only, you can have any healing you would like to ask for." Immediately, several other thoughts came, "You're just dreaming. This is silly. It isn't really happening." They came so fast, it felt like balls being pitched in a batting cage. There was only one way to stop them... Start swinging!
Once my brain cleared, I went back to pondering the thought that originally woke me. What if it was true? What if I really could have any healing I asked for in this moment? What if Jesus really meant it when he said, "You have not because you ask not. I only do what I see The Father do. Greater things will you do."? What did I have to lose by believing that all those things were true? I began to ask.
My mind became a parade of family and friends who needed Jesus to heal them. I asked for each ailment to be healed as I saw it go by. I noticed that a lot of the problems people dealt with had to do with "tasks" they felt obligated to perform. Isn't that interesting? Could the feeling like you had to do something actually bring on pain? Do we sometimes take on the role of a martyr when we endlessly serve in our jobs or in the lives of others? Could bitterness attach itself to something that started off being good? Maybe at some point we stopped thinking of how this could help someone else and we began to be consumed about how it was hurting us (taking away our freedom, our choices, our self being in the #1 position).
Danny Silk, in his book 'Keep You Love On', describes this kind of activity as being a "rescuer". We feel powerless unless we can find a place to rescue someone by taking on their tasks, cleaning up after them or finding other ways to meet their needs. This is actually an unhealthy co-dependency. It's not wrong to help others, but it is possible to go too far by taking on the entire burden ourselves. The results can leave the other person powerless, unable to handle their own issues and becoming totally dependent on us for their happiness, comfort and peace. At this point, haven't we just replaced God in their lives? We've become their savior. It comes at a price for us as well. We were never meant to carry such a heavy load. Our emotions are consumed, so our bodies respond... in pain. What a mess!
There is a solution. Become powerful and empower them to do the same. It's easier to give someone a "hand up" than it is to carry them on your back. Sometimes we need to teach others to do those things we've been doing for them. Sometimes need to stand by while they figure it out, ready to coach when necessary. Sometimes we just need to repent about having stepped into the role of God in the lives of others. There are lots of options.
So, whatever happened to the dream like state I was in? I actually fell asleep as I sent all my friends and family through the porthole of healing I was seeing. I woke up this morning with everything I just shared with you. I hope it helps.
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